The Valley Spy Visits Clach

'Vale made the trip to the Highland capital to face Clachnacuddin at Grant Street Park, Inverness. Clach led the Highland League for a couple of months earlier in the season, and were unbeaten until they faced the 'Vale in November at Banff. A tough match was expected on a heavy pitch, which put the game in doubt right up until kick-off.
'Vale have not had the best of records in Inverness over the years. However, that never stopped supporters enjoying three visits to Inverness until a few years ago. Caledonian played at Telford Street, alongside banks of the Canal; Inverness Thistle played at Kingsmills in the posh Crown area of town (okay it is now a city). Clach play at Merkinch in what could not be described as the poshest area of town. Caley and Thistle are now amalgamated and play in the Scottish League. Now known as Caledonian Thistle, they strut their stuff on a brand new stadium on the outskirts of town next to the Kessock Bridge on an exposed site that must be the second caulest place in Scottish League football next to Peterhead.
Some may view the loss of Caley and the Inverness jags have weakened the Highland League. Others may say that the players now playing for Caley Thistle in the first division would not be playing in the Highland League anyway. The Spy view on this subject is the league is every bit as exciting now as it was when Caley and Thistle were in the league and you cant stand in the path of progress. And besides since they left 'Vale have qualified for four Scottish Cups, won a couple of trophies and now top the Highland League so were not complaining.
It is fair to say the Vale trips to Inverness over the years have been interesting with some astonishing defeats. To quote a Norwegian football commentator " Mr Banff, your team has taking a hell of a beating!"
The Vale in season 78/79 were going well near the top of the league under the stewardship of Ken Tedcastle. They went up to the Highland capital, confident to face Inverness Thistle. Ninety minutes after the start our league hopes were dashed as Thistle trounced 'Vale 10 - 0. A few seasons later during the roaring eighties, Vale's 'decade horibilis', Vale went up to Inverness to face Caley early in the season. The poor Ken Tedcastle, had been coaxed back in charge but with money tight was struggling to get a team on the park. There was a number of late call-offs for the game and the Vale committee were trawling the bars and pie shops of Banff and Macduff on the Friday night to get thirteen players. There were concerns when one trialist came onto the bus and asked, " Where about do Inverness Caley play? That day it was 12(twelve)- 0. Tedcastle came on himself at ten and ordered that no more goals had to be conceded. 'Vale conceded two more goals in a matter of minutes. Ironically, Vale went on to be unbeaten by Caley for the next three seasons. That was the magic of the 'Vale of old - we were brilliantly unpredictable.
The Spy recalls his first visit to Clach in the mid 1970's. It was the first game of the season. The 'Vale goalie that day was Tubby Ogston, a legendary former Dons keeper. It did not stop Clach going onto win 3-0. Clach also won the league that season and boast of a proud history in Highland league football. Clach were founder members of the Highland league along with six others.
The Spy himself has played on only a handful of Highland League grounds in an inglorious career that continues at Princess Royal Park (well the Astroturf five a side part). Grant Street Park, Inverness played host to a British Cup-Tie some ten years ago. The English and Scottish League are struggling to get consensus for a similar competition but the innovative RTBI (readers can work this out for themselves) organise an annual British Cup. The match was between Grampian and Highland, with the away side victors thanks to two wonderful strikes from well inside the six-yard box from the Spy's trusty left peg. To give you an idea of the quality of the game the best two players on the park were probably the old Trojan war-horse, 'Vale director Walter Robertson and the Spy. The next round of the competition was in Darlington, but unfortunately the Banff boys got stuck in a snowdrift and never got as far as Turriff. The Grampian team lost heavily and that was the end of the dream of a prestige final on some village green in Yorkshire.
Inverness has some provided some fantastic memories over the years and older supporters will recall the Vale's first Qualifying Cup final success in 1951 was in Inverness against Clachnacuddin. The fact that Clach decided not to break ranks with the Highland League and join Caley and Thistle has meant the Highland League teams can still enjoy the hospitality of the Highland capital

The report on the game itself is found elsewhere on this website, however the Valley Spy was in Inverness to check out what following Deveronvale is all about.

Pre-Match Refreshments
A sizable travelling support arrived in Inverness to frequent the Clach Social Club adjacent to the ground. The club benefits from a large function area and a smaller bar. It is unique in Highland League terms in that it has no woodchip paper on the walls. There is large screen Tele, which is necessary for the locals to focus after taking advantage of the special offers of doubles for £1.50. There are pool tables and darts boards for the healthier sports minded punter. The Invernessians are admired for their Highland twang, almost singing when they speak, and this distinctive tone is heard in the Clach Social from locals enjoying the hospitality of their club.

Valley Spy Rating 3/5

Catering Facilities
The pie-shop at Clach is at the end of the ground and is noted for its reasonable prices. The coffee was rumoured to have room for improvement, but the mutton pie was sampled by award winning Banff photographer Ian Bain. The modern day Albert Bodie was enjoying one of his first Highland League games and described the pie as the best he'd ever tasted - sounds as though he had been spending too much time under that cloak.

Valley Spy Rating 3/5

Ground Conditions
The pitch at Clach is of a similar size to Princess Royal Park. The surface is flat and the Clach groundsman did a sterling job to ensure that the match was played. Clach used to have an old wooden stand and two enclosures at the side of their ground. However, with the club facing financial problems they took the decision to sell off part of their ground to a housing developer. Their changing rooms were relocated to end of the ground beside the Social Club and a smaller seated area was built. The enclosure to the bottom end of the ground is a traditional steel framed, corrugated covered area, which is fondly known by locals as the wine shed. Although it has seen better days it still prevents most of the rain falling onto the supporters standing inside the shed.
The toilet facilities are above average, but Clach like Rothes the week before need to invest in some replacement bulbs for their floodlights.

Valley Spy Rating 3/5

Banter
The majority of the supporters congregated in the wine shed to get some shelter form the elements. The supporters of both sides were in good spirits with singing adding to the ambience of the shed. It was noted that the young supporters' from Clach were versed in the use of bad language - but they did give the Lilywhites great encouragement. Now, there's a story that at one game Clach/'Vale game a bike was thrown from the wine shed onto the pitch. It is unclear whether this was an act of hooliganism from an irate supporter or the bike owner thinking his bike would be safer on the pitch as opposed to the risk of it being pinched by a young Merckincher in the wine shed.

Valley Spy Rating 4/5

The Match
A 3-2 victory at Clach - We're still dreaming don't wake us up until May!

Valley Spy Rating 4/5

Final Score 17/25